If I die, I’m announcing it on Facebook first
I love Facebook. Ask anyone that knows me and they’ll tell you I’m one of those people that updates their status and posts images far too often.
I do it while I’m at home, while I’m at work, and now it seems I’ll be able to update my burgeoning profile when I’m dead. Yes, when the last breath has left my frigid corpse, I’ll be able to unleash one last missive on my unsuspecting friends (and those random people I’ve added who I don’t actually know).
It’s all thanks to a Facebook app called If I Die. Once installed, it lets you leave a pre-written goodbye after you’ve kicked the bucket. It’ll automatically fire off a text update or, better still, a video message that contains your final goodbyes. Creepy, huh?
How does it know when you’re dead? Well, during installation, it asks you to appoint particular friends as the executers of the app. Once you’ve been committed to the Earth, burnt to oblivion, or cast out to sea in a Viking longboat (that’s how I’m going out), they can hit the publish button and your profile is updated with your final ramblings.
A minimum of three of your trustees have to click the “yes, he is in fact dead” button before the app’s makers will publish your last words, though you can appoint more than three people as the guardians of your social media estate — which is handy in the event you end up outliving the default set.
The content of your final message is entirely up to you. The folks who make the app suggest you might want to tell a joke, say a simple goodbye, reveal a secret or slag off anyone you hated whilst occupying the real of the living.
Some might say it’s morbid — I say it’s pretty dope. The only thing it’s missing is an ‘if-then-else’ function that allows you to post final messages based on the circumstances of your death. Like, if you’re murdered by someone, your last message could say “It was probably Ian Morris”. Or it could say “I wish those bastards hadn’t turned my life support machine off. Please avenge me”.
Maybe they’ll stick that in version 2.0.